Two years ago, I'd have never thought I'd ever use the phrase 'spoiled fucking little bitch' in reference to Brian Urlacher.

But there you have it.

Two years ago, he was dominant. Effective. Terrifying. He looked like he'd rip your leg off and take a bite out of it after he tackled you. Then he'd run up your credit cards while screwing your girlfriend, then he'd key your car and hit you upside the head with a signpost. He was rapidly making a name for himself as one of the premier defensive backs in the league, if not in league history.

And now, he's making a name for himself as a spoiled whiny pain in the ass.

For those living under a sports rock, Urlacher got his contract restructured recently. In essence, he got a huge signing bonus and an escalating per-year amount -- an additional million a year for the next five years (I believe), with a 'practice bonus' of half a million (five hundred grand just for showing up to practice, I'm in the wrong fucking line of work).

Maybe I'm being simplistic here, but didn't he sign a contract a few years ago? A really long-term one? One that was the biggest in Bears history, and was huge even by star linebacker standards? The man signed a CONTRACT. A legally binding document that says, "I promise to abide by what is written here, this thing that I've put my signature on." Which he then broke when the contract no longer suited him.

Those that will argue with me will say that a player should go for all the dollars he can, that a team can terminate a contract at any time and he has to go for the big money while he can. All of which is true. But my counter-arguments are:

- If you want to get a new contract, you have to re-negotiate. Holding out and whining in the press... that's loser territory and it makes the fans hate you.

- If you want to re-negotiate, you have to be... and stay with me here, Brian... you have to be WORTH WHAT YOU'RE ASKING FOR. If you want big money, you have to play like you're worth big money. And frankly, lately, you're not. You're injured, you have a bum back, and you're not playing like a Pro Bowler anymore. I'm sorry, it's not your fault, it's injuries, but it's still realistic. If the Bears can take the money they gave you and invest it somewhere else... say, a younger MLB and maybe, I dunno, a QUARTERBACK, we'd see a lot more in return. Sorry, but that's the way it is.

I pray to be proven wrong here and that Urlacher re-establishes himself as a stud linebacker and that he personally ends up picking Peyton Manning out of his teeth for the next five years. But I have a nagging suspicion that the Bears will end up rueing this decision for a long time to come.

Startin' Out

Wow. The challenge of a blank page. (Computer screen. Whatever.) What to post? One would think that the first post on a new blog should be something attention-grabbing, something that establishes tone and mood going forward, something that gives direction and meaning.

One would think that. But one would be wrong. All you get is this blather. Sorry.

So what kind of stuff will I be talking about in this blog? Right now, I think anything is fair game. I'd really like to concentrate on the stuff I enjoy, though -- gaming (video games, role-playing games), football (both NFL and fantasy) and any other form of geekitude that captures my magpie attention.

So let's talk football. The Beloved, specifically -- otherwise known as the Chicago Bears (for anyone outside the Chicagoland area). I don't have any illusions about what their performance will look like this year, aside from making with the badness. (You read it here first, kids; the official Thunderburp Flush prediction for the Bears' 2008-09 season will be 7-9, unless something miraculous happens... either Adrian Peterson's [the real one, not Chicago's pale imitation] leg falling off, Neckbeard finally figuring out how to throw a spiral, or Brian Urlacher finally quitting his whining and actually, you know, playing the damn game.)

And on first blush, Kevin Jones seems like a pretty good pickup. I hope he's healed up well, though -- the ACL is a pretty tricky injury, and Forte's gonna be good as a second back this year, but Jones is going to need to carry the load while the New Guy is coming up to speed. I'm still damn disappointed we didn't go with Mendenhall for our pick, though. He would have made an awesome Bear.

God, I can't wait for fantasy football season to start. C'MON, TRAINING CAMP, LET'S GO!